“I miss our life in Turkey & I want to go back,” my daughter cried.
Familiar lies threatened me...
𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘯
But somewhere along the way, the Lord has opened my eyes & trained me through His Word to remember Truth. Lies have no power over a mother walking victoriously in her identity in Christ.
I could have crumbled under her confession, or simply hushed her, but bitterness is often birthed from buried pain & bitterness destroys everything in its path. When the Spirit gives you vision to see the bigger story God is writing, courageous mothering becomes possible even when it appears that your family is suffering because of your struggles.
But don’t misunderstand me. My human heart felt the familiar feelings of sadness & shame, but a depressed mind can be a sound mind when it has become convinced of the goodness of God & can see purpose in the pain.
“It’s normal and ok to be sad; that was our home,” I continued.
Her tears did not make me crumble because hope & faith are powerful forces and His grace was sufficient.
I reminded her that I needed the help I could receive in America & shared ways God is using our story to help others. I explained the compassion she will have for people like me & helped her dreams up some big dreams of how God could use my words for His glory. I still continued to acknowledge the pain, but helped her see how joy & hope could coexist with sorrow.
When we are convinced of who God is and our purpose on this earth, lies that we have ruined everything lose their power & ability to silence us.
It’s ok to feel those big feelings about how getting the care we need has cost our family greatly, but an alive mom seeking help and growing in hope is always better than a mom who stayed silently isolated in her illness & gave up.
Getting help is worth it even if it changes the path your family is on. You are too precious & have too much kingdom purpose (purpose most likely including the weakness you hide) to give up.