“...I’m sorry...I’m human,” I said to my daughter after I forgot to make an appointment I told her I would.
I’ve never said that before, but as I was caught in the tension of expectations and brain fog - the reality of mothering through mental illness - it just came out of my mouth.
A little bit later, she came and apologized and told me that when I told her I was human, it really made her think; that she hadn’t ever thought of that.
Why is it so hard to admit our weakness to our children? Through this journey, I’m learning that it’s ok to be human. We don’t have to be perfect. Being perfect doesn’t leave much room for our children to see our need for Jesus. If they don’t see our need for Jesus, will they recognize their own?
In an appropriate way, I think it’s ok to be human in front of our kids. We should try our very hardest to be present and to mother with kindness, love, patience, and self control. But when we find ourselves irritable because of depression, frantic because of anxiety, or any other number of things, we ask God for help and we apologize to our kids.
Verbalizing how we could have handled a situation better, asking them for forgiveness, and explaining to them our need for Jesus is powerful in their little lives.
My children might grow up and remember how imperfect their momma was, but if they look back on my life and see that in my weakness I clung to my savior, well then I’d consider that a motherhood victory of portraying the gospel in a tangible way.
May Jesus receive all the glory as we mother well in spite of the circumstances we’ve been given