Worship In Sadness
Today is my late mother’s birthday. It’s a day filled with memories, both sweet and bitter. She was diagnosed with cancer when I was 8, leaving a mark on my childhood that scarred my heart and altered my mind. But on this day, when I knew I’d be prone to sadness, I woke up with two very difficult choices.
I could wallow in sadness, or worship in spite of sadness.
Worship doesn’t have to be pure elation, for today my worship is with a heavy heart that is choosing to acknowledge God’s goodness to me. Worship is not about making myself feel good, but rather about making much of Him.
So today, a day that I hate, I’ve decided to channel that emotion in a different direction. I’ve decided to place that hate not on God, the One who allowed her death, but on the sin committed in the Garden of Eden that caused the world to morph from beautifully perfect to utterly broken. But just as we see sin, sickness, and suffering enter the world in Genesis 3, we also see the first announcement of the gospel...the “Protoevangelium”...in Genesis 3:15. Even as Adam and Eve were surely reeling from what had taken place, there was hope. And there is still hope.
He is with us when trauma happens
He is with us as we cope
He brings beauty from ashes
Maybe you are hurting today too. It’s ok to feel emotion and acknowledge trauma and mental illness. It’s ok to need some time to gather your thoughts and it’s ok if your progress is imperfect. But it’s not ok to assume your struggles cancel your calling. Even with sad hearts, we can still be voices of hope and beacons of light in this dark world. Your life absolutely matters
“Maybe you are currently walking through the valley of despair, and depression’s dark shadow has dimmed your hope. In these moments, it is easy to believe the lie that God has no use for you in blessing others. If you believe this lie, isolation is sure to follow. But these feelings of uselessness and loneliness are right where the enemy wants us. Why? To prevent us from ministering and being ministered to. A rich ministry flows from your own well of suffering. God will often use those who are familiar with depression’s landscape to help others navigate their way through it.”-Kyle Lee Julius