• Julie Busler

You Are Not a Burden (Part II)

To the children (yes adult children) who have grown up saddened by their mother’s staunchly held belief that they themselves were a burden: it is not your fault.

You are enough and there is nothing you’ve done to make Mom believe that lie. Her love is human, and even those we desperately need the most, will never love us perfectly like Jesus does.

I come from a strange perspective. I look at depression from the viewpoint of both the parent and the child.

» My dad took his own life and it is devastating to this day. I need him.

» I wanted to take mine and I had no capacity to see that I would be inflicting on my children the same uniquely complex grief I live with and loathe.

Yes, that makes no sense. You’re probably scratching your head. But depression takes irrational thoughts and presents them as logical.

“But you have it all,” I’ve heard. “Why would you ever want to end it all?”

Because the pain is so acute, so blinding, that depression can create thoughts that you’d never believe unless you’ve lived it.

I can think how selfish my dad was to make that choice. But then I can think that because I’m a burden, suicide is selfless.

This is mental illness.

But Jesus is greater than mental illness and can take a deceived mind and convince it of Truth. He has mine. You may think that because of my posts, I don’t struggle anymore. I struggle everyday. I utilize the gifts of medical intervention. But above all, the Bible renews my thoughts and transforms my thinking. Jesus gives me hope and for the joy set before me, I endure

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